There's nothing like managing to get a little sorry for yourself for bringing God crashing into your life to shake you up a bit. I've been feeling lonely and isolated and bored and cranky and destructive... I could go on, but I probably shouldn't. I started believing that God does not have a plan for this season I am in. I have two months until I start Soul 61 at Soul Survivor Watford, and I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing. Not a clue. This does not mean, however, that the Lord is similarly clueless. I think I maybe got an inkling of what He's up to today, in that I found a church to be at, which is GREAT. And they're at a point of massive transition in terms of how they're shaped, so maybe this two months is about serving them in any way I can. (This brings us back to the standard question of 'who am I to be doing anything for the Kingdom?' I think I may need to get over that one.)
So yes. Daddy has pointed out places I need to be accountable, lies I need to stop believing, and situations where I'm just being an idiot. And this stuff is hard when the community you're used to is over a 100 miles away. I have not been doing well. But God is enough, and through Him, I am enough. My Daddy is not about denying His kids the things they need. Maybe this is a desert season, in which I'm supposed to learn (again) about depending on Him. I guess you gotta prune the plant if you want it to be all it can be...
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